Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
