i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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