your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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