So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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