you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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