it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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