im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
