I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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