OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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