Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
