If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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