Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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