So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
