She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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