She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
