i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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