from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
