My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
