I hope mine doesn't look like that
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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