i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize