Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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