what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
