Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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