I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
