I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
