I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
