Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
