smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Holy shit dude........stairs
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
