Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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