the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Randomize
