You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
How external is "for external use only"?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
