I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
and you fell through a lawn chair
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize