dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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