Christians are straight up FREAKS
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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