You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
