I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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