I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize