my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
