i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
