me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
