Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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