If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
