I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
