ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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