Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
