You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm at about main and main street
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
