that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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