I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
