Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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