We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
