Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
