I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
