that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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