It's Friday. Sex?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
