I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
COCAINE IS GR8
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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