You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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