WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
