I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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