Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
