i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
