I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
